Missing someone who’s passed…
Sharing about a book that I have been reading…
I started reading the eBook “True Stories of Messages from Beyond” on my Kindle three days ago. Unfortunately I have experienced the loss of losing a loved one more than once in my life. But the person who I miss the most is my Grandmother Carmen. She helped my mom raise me, since my mom was a single mother and worked several jobs. She was so much more to me than just a grandma. She was a mother, a best-friend, a confidant, and gave me the support and encouragement that every girl needs while growing up and when grown.
A day doesn’t pass that I don’t miss her. Especially when my kiddos reach a milestone. I still talk to her, I know to some that might sound crazy. But I do, I have this picture of her that I love, and I talk to it like I’m talking to her. I like to think that she can hear me. When she first passed I used to dream of her often at least 2-3 times a week. But it’s been a few months that I haven’t. Being someone who battles with depression it’s taken a toll on me not to see her in my dreams.
You are probably wondering what does this have to do with me sharing about the book I’m reading…well it’s a book with several stories of people who have lost loved ones and have had the great blessing of seeing, feeling or dreaming with them. This book has taught me to stop and really look for the signs that our loved ones are still around us. Which has given me such hope that my grandma still shares the special moments in my life. And that like when she was alive is always by my side.
Today I was feeling especially down (probably because it was cloudy, dark and rainy). But I decided to go out into my yard and weed my tomatoes. As I was kneeling down in the drizzle, pulling out some weeds. I was thinking how I would love to be able to show my plants to my grandma, when I felt something hit me in the shoulder. Not hard but enough for me to stop and notice it. It turned out to be a small piece of cardboard maybe about the size of a quarter. A piece of white cardboard that when I turned it over had the pattern of the box of powder that she…my grandma…used to wear. And at that very moment I felt that wonderful scent that to me only belonged to her! And there it was…the much needed and hoped for sign that she is still with me.
It is with tears in my eyes that I happily add this post to my blog, with the hope that anyone who needs that little bit of hope that their loved ones are with them. Will read it and open up to seeing the signs that our loved ones give us.
In loving memory of Carmen E. Rivera
January 12, 1926 – October 31, 2010