While reading my daily Facebook news feed while having my coffee this morning, I came across a status from a fellow blogger Danielle Herzog. Her Blog Martinis and Minivans is hilarious! I absolutely love her somewhat sarcastic way of writing. She literally takes the words right out of my mouth and puts them on her blog. I not only enjoy her blog but I follow her on Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest. If you haven’t had the chance to visit her blog I think it’s about time you do. I’m sure you’ll love it and keep going back. Ok back to my news feed… she posted a status that hit the nail right on the head for me about depression. Here’s a pic:
( Clicking on the pic will take you to her FB Page 🙂 )
To Danielle: Thank you for your words!
Those of you that have followed my blog and some very close friends and family know that I’ve battled with depression for almost 5 years now. And the difficult times that I’ve had to go through, many of you also know that it’s the immense love that I have for my boys that give me the strength to keep going day after day. After a very long and emotional conversation with my hunny last night after dinner, I had come to the conclusion that unless a person has actually battled with depression themselves they couldn’t understand what a person with depression goes through. No way could they understand just how hard it is.
Of course this conversation started because on his Facebook he saw a post regarding Robin Williams. He looked at me and said ” I don’t know how someone who has touched the lives of so many, could find it necessary to take his own life. After a few seconds of silence because I couldn’t believe what I had just heard come out of his mouth. Mainly because he has seen how difficult depression has been for me. I managed to say “I can’t believe you would say that. Someone with depression doesn’t find it necessary to take their own life! Many just get tired of trying for so long to find the solution! I don’t think there’s a way for anyone to know the pain that someone is feeling on the inside. Regardless of how they look on the outside. There are so many people that are stuck in a deep place of darkness. A darkness so intense that we can’t see a way out! My hunny is unfortunately not the only one that has made this comment, or the comment of “didn’t they stop to think about those they are leaving behind?” in regards to Robin Williams, or anyone else that has taken their life because of depression. To my hunny and to all those that think like that, Let me tell you something. Suicide is NOT selfish! Suicide is so many things, but selfish is not one of them. Suicide is usually a decision made out of desperation, hopelessness, isolation and loneliness. The darkness, most often referred to a black hole that is clinical depression is all consuming. Many people who do take this route do so thinking about those they are leaving behind. They make this decision because they feel like a burden to loved ones. Many feel that there is no way out, they feel trapped and feel isolated. Believe it or not these are all common feelings among people who suffer from depression. People who commit suicide do think about their loved ones, it’s those loved ones that are the reason many people hang on for just one more day. I believe that they do think about the survivors, more than likely up until their very last breath. But it’s the horrible soul crushing depression that fills them within that leaves them feeling like there is no alternative. My message to those that make these comments is: Until you yourself have stared at the ugly face of depression, until you yourself have been down to that level of depression, until you yourself have lost your soul to a sea of darkness. You shouldn’t make those judgments. Don’t get me wrong you are most certainly entitled to your own feelings and judgments, but making those judgments and spreading that kind of negativity won’t help anyone. Quite the contrary, it will only hurt others. It doesn’t matter if those others are battling with depression themselves or a loved one left behind because of suicide, your words will hurt. Needless to say my hunny’s comment has affected me so much! Maybe because I realized that he truly doesn’t understand just how hard it has been for me, maybe because Robin Williams was such an amazing person, maybe both. Regardless of the reason it affected me so much, it did! So much so that this morning I am still saddened about it.
I am one of the lucky ones though. One of my very dear friends called me just to say hi but immediately noticed something was wrong. She said she would call me back in a bit, but instead came right over and has managed to make me smile. I am so blessed to have so many wonderful friends!
To Danielle: Thank you for your words!
I could go on and on on this subject but the main reason behind this post is that I was so happy to see that there is someone who even though has never battled with depression, knows and understands how difficult it truly is. Danielle’s status post gave me a little bit of hope that maybe she’s not the only one.
To everyone who reads this, Thanks for being a part of my world.